The Final Frontier

Recently Graham and I got an incredible new bed. We sleep like babies on this airy,fluffy, delicious new bed . This luxurious delight continues to bless me with the most delicious dreams. My most vivid and most constant dream took place in heaven. The dream is overwhelming and so breathtakingly beautiful I truly feel the need to share it with you.

The first thing I saw were the most beautiful arms wide open welcome me to this very beautiful place. The smell of old spice is a reminder of my dad. I hear his strong, bellowing voice say “welcome home darling! I am so happy to see my daughter” His arms cradled me like a baby and he says “come with me I want to show you something very beautiful” I suddenly possess the clearest vision I have ever had. It shows me the edge of a gigantic mountain of which we are standing right at the top. The lush greens were not all green … they were colors beyond my realm. It started there and kept going showing me a glimpse of a perfect life beyond what I currently know. Dad said “look at the earth” it was so tiny in the great big view I experienced. In the lush greens I saw my little redhead, Kathryn. Her face was bright and shone with a light so pure I felt my heart fill with love all over again. She didn’t seem to notice me but was reading something I knew nothing about I looked for Christine and my grandmother but did not see them. I did think about them all day after the dream. The vast feeling of the universe keeps coming back to me. I had never seen something as beautiful as that. The other thing that was so real to me was the blueness of my father’s eyes. He had beautiful blue eyes in life, but they were like crystals more sparkling than I remembered. I saw love in his eyes. I get such a warm rush when I think of it. It was an indescribable joy that I would love to experience again it didn’t matter that I did not seem to have the symptoms of thîs earthly challenge that has robbed me of my ability to walk or hold my kitty cat. ALS has truly robbed me of my life I had even six months ago

Normally I dream of every day life. This was an extraordinary experience. My dreams typically have beautiful color but these colors were indescribable. I am wondering what really happened. Did I dream it, experience it, or did I actually have an encounter with heaven? I guess someday I will really know what it is like. My typical thoughts were always very different then the dream. Reality being what it is can certainly turn things upside down. I thought Vince Gill and Alison Krauss would serenade me as I got there and my room would have a gorgeous Bernina sewing machine in it with a stash of fabric larger than anything I could have imagined. And my friend Judie would be there who died just about six months ago and left in an untimely fashion. I thought my grandmother would greet me with one of those gigantic coffee cups she used to have and fix that hot delicious brew just for me with a slice of pound cake on the side the cup. I thought I would see my dad is playing the guitar and there would be little angels swirling around him dancing and giggling with joy. My sister Christine would have been there too and she would have been sitting on a big comfy couch where she would be in charge of all the little babies. In my narrow view all I wanted was the promise I read in the bible …I will be whole again no walkers, wheelchairs or lift chairs.

There is one thing I know for sure, I am still very much in life and every day I wake I thank my loving God for another day. There has to be a bigger plan for my 58 years…a much bigger plan. I am content with my life till now and have had many times of total gratitude. When many of you got together to give me the most beautiful day of my life through the Music for Marianne concert. I heard the impact that my life has had on others and all I could do was thank God for such amazing opportunities. I never thought about what I was doing I just always knew I prayed with and for so many of you when there were times of trouble or times of joy in your lives. I always considered it such a privilege to be in life with each of you and my love for each of you grew so dramatically over the course of years. Many people never get to hear the words of a heart when they are alive. I have had a unique opportunity to hear the words of so many of your hearts and feel incredibly grateful to have serve you in such a unique way. Whether you were a childhood friend, an acquaintance from my youth, a parent from the preschool I lead, or a beloved coworker in some form or another I will always consider it a total and unique privilege for being in life with you Whatever it was the dream that I had the other night, the thing I know and will take away from it is there is a beautiful life beyond this world and we are all fragile and tiny in the big picture of life.

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